Don't Judge a Book by its Cover.

No, wait, that's not right!

In online dating, you MOST CERTAINLY, ALWAYS judge a book by its cover.

Harsh, you say?  I beg to differ.

This is what I don't understand - these men are actually selecting these photos.  Do they really think the "seatbelt selfie" is a picture that makes me want to date them?  No.  The answer is no.  No respectable man has ever taken a seatbelt selfie.  No respectable woman has, either.  (Oh, wait, I have, but that was only to show my mother and my BFF Katie my hair extensions. Surely that doesn't count.)

I am genuinely shocked at the awful profile pictures I've run across. Aside from the seatbelt selfie-ers, there are the "I'm-posing-with-my-recent-catch" dudes, the "I-am-using-my-head-shot-from-my-failed-acting-career" guys, the "brooding, I don't smile-because-serious-is-sexier" people, and quite possibly the worst: the "I'm-flexing-in-my-bedroom-mirror" gents. Then, after browsing through my so-called matches, this strange thing begins to happen.  I'll equate it with Stockholm Syndrome.  It's like picking the lesser of 12 evils...so you "like" someone you would never, not in a million years, actually go on a date with.

I'm sure I'll have more insights on that particular topic as time goes on.

Sunday's Updates:
(Sorry, there was some travel time in here that kept me from updating.)

I'm still not sure about all of the liking, winking, favorite-ing, messaging game. I haven't been doing this long enough to know what a reasonable progression is.
(Update: here's the deal, you just ignore anything that isn't a semi-serious message.  "U R pretty" does not warrant a response.)

I've received about 10 30+ messages.  This seems to be the most intentional/most serious interaction, so I'm basically ignoring all of the rest.

The most promising ones are a mid-thirties professor with a beard who loves to travel. Or maybe his job involves travel. Or both.  I'll call him the Professor, because duh.  He has a PhD, which I find impressive.  Let's be honest, it's slim pickin's out there for all of the professional girls with a higher education. He seems like an interesting guy, obviously intelligent, and he would probably be okay with the fact that I'm a nerd.  So that's promising(-ish).

Then there's a guy involved in some kind of marketing something in NWA.  I'm going to have to brush up on my business lingo to find a way to differentiate between these peeps. He has one of those 'candid' (yeah, right) staring off into the distance pics. Basically, he is attractive and he knows it. His first message involved some sort of version of 'what are you doing tonight?' Hey, I'm as spontaneous as the next girl (no, wait, no I'm not) but even I know that's man-code for "let's hook up". Sorry, NO. I triec to be nice and say I was out of town, but he didn't take the hint. Next time I'll know. For now, I'll call him Lance, as in Armstrong. He seems very into cycling. We'll see.

I should also throw in there that I've also been on a few dates recently with someone else (that I did not meet on the website.) We have actually known each other for a long time and have even dated (not seriously) in the past.  My hesitations with him are that he doesn't seem like he wants to invest in a relationship.  Hey, we all know that saying and doing are two totally different things!  For this reason, I'll call him George, for Clooney.  However, I have to say that's not quite fair to the real George Clooney, because he finally pulled the trigger.

Today's Updates:

Well, I'm still single.  (shocking!)  Here's how the last few days have played out.

Sunday night George and I went out. (He's from my hometown.  Even better, right?) We went to dinner and a movie. (Stop what you're doing right now and go see Unbroken. SO GOOD!) Here's the good thing about George - we have a great time when we're together! (Or at least I think so, maybe he disagrees.) There is good conversation, laughs, an all around old-fashioned good time. Here's the bad - I feel like he doesn't know I exist when we are not together.  I seem to be the one that initiates everything, and I don't think that's a good sign.  Here's the ugly - I'm pretty sure I want it more than he does. We've been out a few times and he hasn't kissed me  - that with the lack of initiation throws up big red flags.  (I've read He's Just Not That Into You. Multiple times.)

Last night I went to dinner with the Professor. We went to a sushi place that I've never tried before, and both the sushi and wine were good.  (Important details, folks.) The conversation was good, as nerdy as you would expect it to be from a dentist and a PhD, and I didn't spill anything.  When we arrived, he gave me three cards, which he told me to open at a different time. The first was just a funny and had instructions to pick #2 or #3 depending on whether or not I wanted to go out again. (But let's be honest, I opened them both. You have to see all of your options, girls!) I thought that was cute and thoughtful.  I like those little touches that say, "hey, I thought of you sometime outside of these three hours that we spend together." Here's the good - we had a lot to talk about. Here's the bad - I don't know that the spark is there (the "I want to make out with you for hours" one...sorry mom). Here's the ugly - he saw me drive erratically (had to snapchat my friend Megan, duh) on the way to the restaurant, and now he thinks I'm crazy. I would say yes if he asked me out again, though.

I received a message yesterday from HogFan#1. (This is NWA. There will be others.) Looking at his profile, he seems normal, and he gets bonus points for referencing church in his first message. Has a dog (a plus, obviously, but his dog will not be as cool as mine, duh) and we're both pretty sure we have mutual friends.  (Okay, okay, so I know we do.  One of my pledge sisters is in his photos. I have resisted the urge to press her for info, though.) I responded to his message this morning. We'll see if he writes back.

Upcoming events:
George and I are going to my friend's wedding tonight.  Beforehand we're going to cook dinner at his place. I feel like tonight will be a good time to ask him where things are going.

I'm supposed to go out with Lance the cyclist on Friday.  Here's a little PSA for all you guys out there, though, if you ask a girl what she would like to do, you should take her answer into consideration.  If she (kindly) tells you she doesn't like a particular drink, food, etc, please do not immediately write back and tell her that's what you're going to do.  Not holding out a lot of hope for that one.

So far no upcoming plans with the Professor.

Here's to romance,

Beth

Dear Kelsie, this is for you.

Dear Kelsie (and all of the rest of you crazy folks who think my dating life is "interesting"),

This is for you. Enjoy. 

~~~~~~~~~~

After a loooooooong hiatus, I've re-entered the blog-o-sphere.  Does anyone blog anymore?  Anyone other than mommy bloggers with excessive income-producing hyperlinks, I mean?

I guess I am.  And here's why: I recently joined the online dating world. (Side note: I'm going to leave the old title as-is, though, that seems like a lot of effort to change. They don't teach that fancy technology stuff in tooth school.)

I don't even really know how to begin this story.  There wasn't any real reason to join an online dating website, other than the fact that I am home at my parents' house for the holidays, and they go to bed early.  As in, leaving me alone at about 8:30 to stare at the small conglomerate of dogs and/or watch TV, but at a volume that is not loud enough to disturb them.  (Oh, and for those that haven't been here, Jonesboro's not a very happening place. So please don't judge that I'm sitting alone on the couch with the dogs.) So I saw one of those "try it, you'll like it!" commercials and decided to see what the fuss was all about.

So here I am, roughly 20 hours into the online dating game.  

The road that got me here is long and full of other equally awful dating experiences, with a few good ones and even a couple of semi-relationships.  (That's another post entirely. Stay tuned.) But alas, I just turned 29, and in the South that's considered ancient, well past child bearing age, and obviouslythereissomethingwrongwithme. (Please visit a Baptist any church tomorrow morning and you'll see what I mean.) My refrigerator is covered in Christmas cards of friends and their adorable babies, and I sent one out of my dogs.  See what I mean? (They are ridiculously adorable, though, definitely Christmas-card worthy.)

To end this exciting re-entry into the blogging world, I'll sum up what I've learned so far.

1. Most men out there are creepers. As in StrangerDanger!

2. This is going to be a full-time job.  I'm not sure I'm up for it, but I'll give it the old college try.

3. This is/already has produced a lot of funny stories.  At least I'll have some interesting things to share with all of the old married ladies mid-twenties girls with 1.5 children at work.

Here's to romance,

Beth